Barring some crazy event happening this weekend (and it most certainly could happen), the 49ers historically dreadful 2015 off-season has now finally and mercifully come to an end.
You could go into the biggest game-day player/roster match-ups and how Tomsula is going to do but I'd rather do a preview for the biggest match-ups facing the Tailgate Aficionados. We strive to win in the parking lot every game but the formidable foes out to ruin the Aficionados joy will no doubt be higher than they have ever been..
Match-up to watch: Aficionados (All Tailgaters) vs Blue Parking Lot 1
-Blue Lot 1 is going to bring the heat this Monday night! They have had all of the 2015 off-season to prepare for the 49er faithful. First thing, you can bet Honer's ass the security will be doubled this year and they all went thru special "training" that teaches them how to "supervise" those tailgating before the game. ShaQueesha will be all over your shit if you don't put that Modelo in a red-cup and Bike-Security Joe wants to make sure your pop-up is properly within it's boundaries or else more ShaQueesha's and Bike security will be radio'd in to escalate a situation in the most unnecessary fashion.
Match-up to watch: The Flap vs Jed York
-Make no mistake folks, the Flap is "flappy-er" than ever and only getting stronger as the wedding bells grow louder/closer. His thirst is real and has no foreseeable cure. He's ready to lash out like a wounded beast on those who hate on his beer palate or say something he deems "stupid". Even though this might scare you a little, fear not, it's just The Flap. Remember that his real enemy is Jed York and our job is to help quench his thirst as much as possible...
Match-up to watch: Slappy vs Fans in the aisle
-The presence of Martha will curb the Slap's aggression slightly but as soon as Abrasheesh Gupta can't find his seat and is standing square in Slappy's site-line, comments/instructions/obscenities will be shouted. You'd think people who want to watch a football game will actually sit and watch it right? Not at Levi's. Silicon Valley Corporate Partners are handing out 49er tickets to their engineers like candy so you can bet Honer's ass again that these are the folks causing every single spot of congestion during game time.
Match-up to watch: Our Televisions at Home vs Season tickets
- Let's not beat around the Reggie Bush, this could be the final year for some Aficionados purchasing season tickets. Not sure what to say other than if it's going to be our last tailgating year as season ticket holders, then let's strive to go out as undefeated again in usual fashion. Love all of you!
You could go into the biggest game-day player/roster match-ups and how Tomsula is going to do but I'd rather do a preview for the biggest match-ups facing the Tailgate Aficionados. We strive to win in the parking lot every game but the formidable foes out to ruin the Aficionados joy will no doubt be higher than they have ever been..
Match-up to watch: Aficionados (All Tailgaters) vs Blue Parking Lot 1
-Blue Lot 1 is going to bring the heat this Monday night! They have had all of the 2015 off-season to prepare for the 49er faithful. First thing, you can bet Honer's ass the security will be doubled this year and they all went thru special "training" that teaches them how to "supervise" those tailgating before the game. ShaQueesha will be all over your shit if you don't put that Modelo in a red-cup and Bike-Security Joe wants to make sure your pop-up is properly within it's boundaries or else more ShaQueesha's and Bike security will be radio'd in to escalate a situation in the most unnecessary fashion.
Match-up to watch: The Flap vs Jed York
-Make no mistake folks, the Flap is "flappy-er" than ever and only getting stronger as the wedding bells grow louder/closer. His thirst is real and has no foreseeable cure. He's ready to lash out like a wounded beast on those who hate on his beer palate or say something he deems "stupid". Even though this might scare you a little, fear not, it's just The Flap. Remember that his real enemy is Jed York and our job is to help quench his thirst as much as possible...
Match-up to watch: Slappy vs Fans in the aisle
-The presence of Martha will curb the Slap's aggression slightly but as soon as Abrasheesh Gupta can't find his seat and is standing square in Slappy's site-line, comments/instructions/obscenities will be shouted. You'd think people who want to watch a football game will actually sit and watch it right? Not at Levi's. Silicon Valley Corporate Partners are handing out 49er tickets to their engineers like candy so you can bet Honer's ass again that these are the folks causing every single spot of congestion during game time.
Match-up to watch: Our Televisions at Home vs Season tickets
- Let's not beat around the Reggie Bush, this could be the final year for some Aficionados purchasing season tickets. Not sure what to say other than if it's going to be our last tailgating year as season ticket holders, then let's strive to go out as undefeated again in usual fashion. Love all of you!
By: El Mijo